“I’m sorry you can’t sleep,” he says as I escape our bedroom to come sit in silence on the couch. Fighting against a powerful combination of pills prescribed for my mental health, I am accompanied by Faye. Loyal though she is, even this late night writing session must be confusing to her. Joey, the aloof one, has joined us, though not on the couch. His preferred hangout is the cat carrier, still on the living room floor after an expensive trip to the vet, less than 24 hours ago. A strange cat indeed, considering the torture he endured in that crate at the hands of the doctor who couldn’t even complete a full exam because of his aggressiveness and hatred for being brought into that place.
But while this duo of fur and whiskers are settling in to keep me company, so many other ideas, thoughts, feelings, have joined the group.
It is a truly rare thing for me to write more than the five lines allotted to me in my 5-year journal. Lately, all spare time has been spent on other hobbies, number one of ourse being all things yarn. Knitting and crocheting has certainly taken up plenty of time, as well as space in this one-bedroom apartment, labeled a “cottage” by the apartment manager in an effort to make this small space seem charming. It may have been at one time, but now, it is evident that a married couple with multiple hobbies each cannot live in such minimal space without feeling somewhat claustrophobic and disorganized.
While free time has been somewhat of a luxury in recent weeks/months, my mind has been yearning to pick up a pen again. Five lines in a daily journal doesn’t offer much space for introspection and a reflective analysis of life.
Why tonight, then of all nights, to get out of bed, when sleep was only moments away? The desire was strong tonight. If I had waited until the morning, this desire would have passed without an appointed time for return.
Every blog post that I have made since its inception on another site has had a point. Perhaps for the first time in my limited blogging experience, this one doesn’t have one. Is this post to say that I’m re-introducing myself to the writing world, or that I’m going to post more regularly this time? Does adding “update blog” to my daily to-do list mean that I’ll actually do it this time? I’d like to say that I’ll be able to have these middle of the night rendezvous’ more frequently, but honestly, once those nightly pills are swallowed, the countdown is on. So, as my eyes become heavier with an inevitable sleepiness, I bid good night to this day and to the cats who unknowingly just became witness to more than just the re-birth of a blog, but to an awakening of an inner spirit, desperately wanting to be heard.