For five days straight, I was a fitness guru. I was very conscious of everything I ate and very carefully planned out my meals and snacks. I drank water over sweet iced tea. And every day after work, I came home and without even arguing with myself about why I couldn’t, I laced up my tennis shoes and got on my elliptical. I kept my legs going no matter how high the resistance got on the pre-programmed routine I selected. Once I finished, I took a sweaty selfie and posted it proudly on Facebook. I began to feel a physical difference in my body. My husband mentioned something about my metabolism changing. Then, it all stopped.

I went to a conference with my principal and a fellow teacher. We had to stay overnight and because it was only one night, I mentally prepared for coming home the second day and returning to my exercise routine. After all, one day of not doing it is not a bad thing. But then I developed a nasty head cold and didn’t feel like doing anything. That was about three weeks ago and I have yet to return to the routine I developed. Much like what I imagine writer’s block feels like, I feel a sort of, fitness block encompassing me. I know why my motivation faded, but what troubles me the most is that I can’t seem to get it back.

That’s it. There’s nothing else I can say about it. It’s gone. Earlier this week I was energized enough to diet for one day, but found excuses for not exercising. Definitely not the same surge of desire to get healthy I had experienced during that stretch of five days. Other than concluding that just starting is the hardest part, I have also discovered that having a positive attitude is half the battle. When I felt that brief spark this week that kept me dieting for that one whole day, it was the result of the night before when I told myself over and over, “You can do it!” I get so frustrated with myself because I’m not doing it that I forget that being positive is a lot more effective. I CAN do it!

There’s a video online that I watched a while ago that has inspired me in the past that I’d like to post here. I’ve watched it several times at random points in my fitness journey and it never ceases to bring me to tears. I relate so much to the man in this video. His health was in jeopardy because of his weight. Mine is too. As I’ve said before in other posts, my desire to lose weight is not born out of a need to be skinny, but from a strong feeling of wanting to bring children into the world. I can’t do that unless I lose a significant amount of weight. It’s well past the time of day when I can exercise, but what I can do is watch this video again and know that once again, tomorrow is a new day. I CAN do this!

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