With it being exactly two weeks since I completed my first 5K, and exactly one week since I last went running, I am struck this week with a feeling of frustration. My stomach has not felt well in days and I’m nearly certain it’s because of my unintentional break from healthy eating. There are more excuses circulating in my mind than there ever have been. Motivation is at an all time low. I’m sure it is because I have reached my short-term goal, of finishing a race, and now I need to remind myself of my long-term goal, becoming a mother.

Last Sunday, my husband and I were out and about in the afternoon and visiting various libraries in our city looking for assorted books. While waiting for him to make his selections at our last destination, I found myself in the parenting aisle. I was curious to see what kind of books they had that may relate to pregnancy and diabetes, or pregnancy and mental health, both of which are the road blocks on my journey. As I suspected, there wasn’t any particular book that really came close to what I hoped to read. However, as I skimmed the pages of one parenting book, I came across the library receipt pictured above and I began to think about the person who had checked out these two books. I immediately felt fortunate. The lady who needed to read these books must have been dealing with an issue that I’m sure is frustrating. And while I’m concerned about becoming pregnant, it is for completely different reasons. It is not known to me whether or not I can get pregnant. To put it simply, we have never tried. Infertility may or may not be an issue for us. My physical and mental health, is what stands in our way.

Recently, a ray of hope made it’s way into the situation when I received my latest blood work results. Due to my diet and exercise routine, my numbers were all in the normal range, a much different story than the above normal numbers that I’m used to. I don’t have to go back to the doctor until August, but in the meantime, I am determined to get out of this health rut. I have to remember that the whole reason I started to run, was not just to enter the 5K, but the ultimate goal is to get healthy enough that I could have a somewhat normal pregnancy. We know that if it is God’s will that it happens now, rather than when we’re  ready, we will be happy and will do what we have to do to make sure everything turns out well. But in the meantime, after Easter tomorrow, after the ham and potato salad and deviled eggs, those hot pink running shoes will be on my feet again on Monday. I bought a planner a while ago for planning out meals and exercise, it’s time I make some plans and stick to them. And to the lady who left her receipt in the book I picked up, I hope that she has found a happy solution to whatever fertility issue she was facing, and I pray that our time comes. Our time to create new life with just as much health and happiness.

2 thoughts on “Reflections

  1. I love how you can always see a positive in things. I like to think of your mystery receipt lady with a child, and I hope you’ll come to that, too, in your turn.

    Liked by 1 person

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