Family Again

I survived the visit from my parents. I told them at the beginning of the visit that I wasn’t going to engage in any Dr. Phil conversations with them. My dad ignored that rule on the second day and snuck one in at dinner while my mom was in the bathroom. While I hid my gritted teeth and managed to keep my eyes from actually rolling, I was a bit intrigued by something he said. When describing the reunion with my mom, he explained that it felt like the last 16 years never happened. And to be honest, seeing them together, corny dad jokes and comments and all, it really did feel like old times. The old times before he walked out on my mom and I. The old times before my mom moved away. The old times before my mental health took a nose dive into the darkest place I have ever been. He also said that the two of them are ready to move on. They could dwell on the past, but they are more interested in going forward. Now I find myself in a predicament of sorts. I have been angry at him for many years, and even resentful towards my mother at times for not being there when a sick young girl needs her mother the most. I could continue to feel these emotions and continue to hold a grudge, or I could move on with them. I could stop rolling my eyes and groaning when they text me. In fact, I think I already have. My dad texted me today as he drove his charter bus down the interstate that runs just a few miles behind my apartment. The text said “Can you see? I’m waving as I go by. Luv ya.” Truth be told, it made me smile.

I honestly don’t know how long this reunion of theirs is going to last. Two months ago, my husband, my oldest sister, and I were musing that it couldn’t possibly last all that long. We sort of pledged to just wait it out. I think I’m done waiting for the relationship to fail. If it does come to a screeching halt, I know my sister will be happy. But I can’t say that I would be too. Familiarity is a good feeling. It wasn’t as awkward as I thought being a party of 3 for the weekend. I’d like to see my parents succeed in their new relationship. The bottom line being, that we’re a family.

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