I Don’t Have a Point

But I do know that it’s the Christmas season, signaling the approaching end of 2016, and I have no idea where the year went. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become increasingly aware that time moves much faster on this other side of childhood. So many of the people I associate with on Facebook have declared that 2016 needs to hurry up and end. Many of those same people were very active in political debates online which is probably a factor in their need for a fresh start in the new year. While I was not a Trump supporter by any means, I did not engage in any of those debates online because really, they’re pointless. And though I did have strong feelings about the election, I have not let it ruin my year.

In fact, I don’t know how I feel about 2016. There were ups and downs as there are in many years. I ran my first 5K, then stopped running altogether. My plan to get back into it by signing up for another race in November failed when it didn’t motivate me into action like it did towards the end of last year. The day of the race saw me sitting on the couch feeling guilty instead of lacing up my running shoes. A further blow came when two of the people that attend my church that ran in my one and only 5K in March asked me if I ran on that day in November because they had come to cheer me on. There has not been a single night that I have gone to bed and not regretted or thought about in some way that I need to eat better and exercise. This has been my nightly routine since the beginning of June when I realized that running early in the morning during summer break was not going to happen as I hoped. These nightly thoughts have not been productive, only obsessive, and I have only just recently gotten myself to stop the negativity each night. I know that I will get back out there and run again, I almost did today. My resting heart rate has increased and I am afraid of my poor health at my age.

I have decided not to sign up for another race for a while. While I will get back out there and run again, I will not run another 5K for a while. I very much enjoyed running. It was tough at first, but the feeling of accomplishment after every completed step in the Couch to 5K program really made me feel good. I don’t want to train for a race and then get out of shape again after the race is completed. I have a friend who set a personal goal of completing 12 5Ks in 12 months one year. She actually did it! I could always do something like that, but I really just want to get back out there. I miss it, and for whatever reason, something has been holding me back. A serious lack of motivation and laziness has really put a delay in my fitness journey. But perhaps, fitness really is a journey, not a destination, like the old Aerosmith song says about life. I’ve had this major setback, but I can start again. In fact, this post comes nearly a year to the day that my husband got me that pair of hot pink running shoes last year. Once I got those shoes, I was unstoppable with my diet and exercise. I can be again.

And just like that, I found the point I wanted to make. I didn’t know what I wanted this post to be about at first, I just knew that I wanted to write something tonight. Apparently what’s really important to me came to the surface first. I’ll take that as a sign. It’s time to get back out there. Day 1 will start tomorrow.